Step Right Up
by alanabloom
Summary: Super random theme park AU. In which Alex, in the summer job from hell, is working a games booth at a theme park (alongside some other familiar faces), bored out of her mind until the day some dull Jewish guy brings his girlfriend by Alex's booth to try to win her a prize...but she's not exactly eyeing the stuffed animals.


**A/N:** Just a fun, hella random AU because I need to kind of decompress between angsty fics.

* * *

It's an unyielding scorcher of a summer, the kind that makes people curse themsleves for ever wishing for warmth, even back in the dead misery of winter. It's a thick, smothering sort of heat, the kind of weather that crowds town pools, minimizes clothing, and cloaks everyone unfortunate, or stupid, enough to be outdoors in a permanent sheen of sweat.

She could have worked at the mall.

Such is Alex Vause's thinking as she pushes her glasses up her nose for probably the tenth time in the past minute alone. It's such a pertinent observation she decides to say out loud, on the grounds that complaining it usually more effective when it's directed at someone. "We could be working at the mall right now."

Nicky, on top of the counter, flat on her back with her knees drawn up, doesn't even lift her head, just opens one eye and arches a brow in Alex's direction, faux incredulous. "What? Leave all this? I could never."

Wearily, Alex looks around at their _all this_: a cramped games booth at the embarrassingly named Funtown Parks. They're confined to the space between the counter and the table that holds up three pyramids of milk bottles, and there are stuffed animals hanging just overhead. Oh, and a puny little tabletop fan, rotating back and forth in a vain attempt to cool the entire space.

Alex groans, gathering her sweat damp hair into a half hearted ponytail and looping it through the back of her black baseball cap, emblazoned with the name of the park and an exclamation point that's trying way too hard. "My hair's fucking disgusting."

Nicky sits up enough to give her a withering look. "Don't even go there, Vause. You don't wanna play that game with me." She waves a hand at her own humidity stricken mane, which at this point is practically a sentient being. Nicky's the only employee in the park exempt from wearing the hat as part of her uniform; it literally won't fit over her hair.

Alex grins. "Fair point. A few more days and Red'll be pushing to transfer you to haunted house."

"Fuck you." Nicky flips her a lazy bird and lays back down, her usual working position. The only time Nicky spends not on the counter are the rare occasions when there three customers at a time crowding the counter space. The booth probably doesn't need two workers, so their division of labor has ended up as such: Nicky lounges while occasionally shouting out crowd attracting banter; Alex takes money, distributes baseballs, sets up fallen bottles, and hands out prizes.

So basically, anything that requires actually moving. Alex doesn't mind. It's a small price to pay to avoid yelling out inane things to the crowd. Nicky actually seems to enjoy it; her voice always goes an octave or two deeper, the words rushing out, a parody of an old time carney. It's hard to tell if the customers it attracts actually get the parody, but then that's this whole place: it's either running on irony or the strange phenomenon of "so out it's' in." None of them are really sure.

Their view across the way is comprised of Daya's small caricature stand (Nicky has one of herself hanging on the wall of their booth; when she does have to get down from the counter to make room, she likes to stand right next to it and affect the same cartoonish expression. Because of course she does.) and Poussey and Taystee's refreshment trailer, which they've managed to turn into a performance. People love them, and sometimes when it's slow, Nicky likes to watch them and sigh wistfully, bemoaning her own underachieving partner.

"You gotta step up your game, Vause. People expect a show. We gotta be a goddamn _comedy_ _team_. Laurel and Hardy, Laverne and Shirley - "

"Thelma and Louise?"

"Nah, I won't be driving off any cliffs with you, Vause. No offense, just too goddamn much to live for."

The rides loom in the distance, on the other side of the long row of exhibition tents. Ride jobs are supposedly more desirable, but Alex isn't exactly gunning for promotion. It seems like the same sort of monotony, just more constant. Here, at least, there are dead periods.

Not to mention the longer-than-technically-allowed breaks Nicky has to give Alex to make up for the amount of time she spends at the carousel, flirting with Lorna Morello.

Alex is debating vaulting over the counter and attempting to sweet talk Poussey into giving her a lemonade (or, fuck, anything cold) when, for no real reason, Nicky decides to put in some effort.

"Step right up, aim and fire, knock over the pyramid, win a prize, easy peasy, easy as pie, pie in the sky." Alex snorts out a laugh. Carny convention requires Nicky to talk twice as fast as usual, which doesn't always give her the time to come up with something that isn't utter nonsense. "No tricks here, folks, standard issue milk bottles, 100% genuine, no glue involved, and for an extra buck we'll even prove it."

"An extra buck?" Alex asks idly. That's new.

"That's the price for cynicism," Nicky replies, still shouting.

Alex spots them first, a couple drifting toward the booth, heads bent in what Alex can now recognize as the pre-playing conversation: Boy casually promises to win prize for Girl. Girl assures him it's not necessary, that games are a waste of money. Boy insists, on the grounds that knocking over milk bottles with a baseball in exchange for a cheap stuffed elephant will somehow prove his masculinity to Girl. Girl agrees, presumably because she genuinely wants a cheap stuffed elephant.

This particular Girl, though. Blonde, with a sweet face and long legs. She's wearing a red cotton sundress, and it looks like she's sweated off most of her make up. She's beautiful, in a very simple way. The kind of beautiful that doesn't make a big deal out of itself.

Which means she's absolutely perfect for Alex's favorite work indulgence; shameless flirting with the girl whose devotion is being bought through carnival prizes.

"I'll take five," the guy tells her, slapping down a wad of ones. Alex smoothly takes the money and hands over a bucket of baseballs, but her gaze is already focused on his girlfriend. She checks her left hand automatically; they aren't engaged or married. Unsurprising: they usually aren't, at the prize winning stage.

Alex leans forward on the counter, flashing the woman a smile. "So. What are you aiming for?"

She turns away from eyeing Nicky's prostrate form with uneasy bemusement and stares at Alex, looking slightly startled at being addressed. She fumbles for a smile. "Um, the bottles?"

"No, that's what _he's_ aiming for." She flicks her head toward The Boyfriend, just as his first attempt thunks against the wall a good six inches wide. "Albeit unsuccessfully."

The blonde lets out a laugh that scrunches her whole face, and goddamn, it's adorable. The guy slides his offended look from Alex to his girlfriend.

"Sorry, sorry, I'm looking." She turns dutifully toward the bottles, but her eyes snap immediately back to Alex's.

Alex casually pulls off her stupid hat, shaking her hair out of its ponytail, and gives the woman a winning smile. "I meant what are you aiming for, prize wise?" A second ball goes too high. Alex waves a sardonic hand at the menagerie dangling above their heads. "Which of these adorable creatures got your attention?"

She gives a perfunctory scan of her options. "Didn't have anything in mind."

The third baseball sails between the different pyramids. Alex watches it, then shakes her head solemnly. "Probably for the best."

The woman's lips purse tightly with a suppressed smile that seems to burst through her eyes instead.

The fourth ball actually hits the edge of the table. Alex glances over and says dryly, "You know you only win if you hit the bottles in front of you. It's not really a free for all situation."

Boyfriend cuts his eyes at Alex, spinning the last remaining baseball in his palm. "How much does it cost to turn off the commentary?"

"Touchy." Alex lifts her eyebrows, then says in an undertone to the woman, "Is this your first date? Is that why he's so fuckin' twitchy?"

The woman shakes her head. "No."

"Lemme guess..." Alex leans a little closer, squinting with mock scrutiny. "Ninth?"

The grin that answers suggests she isn't far off. The woman's eyes won't stay still, roving over Alex's face with unguarded fascination, like she's waiting for something to be revealed.

"_Piper_." The boyfriend sounds put out, fixing her with a baffled look.

The woman - Piper - gives him an impatient look. "What, Larry, just go ahead."

Alex smirks. "Maybe you should tell him you'll still like him even if he can't win you a stuffed vending machine animal." Her eyes track back to Piper's. "Or maybe you won't. I don't know you...maybe you're _really_ hard to please."

Piper bites her goddamn lower lip, eyes dancing with amusement and something faintly like curiosity.

The fifth ball misses by two inches. "_Fuck_."

"That one was close, at least." Piper tells him.

"Here..." Alex plucks a small orange giraffe off the hooks above her head. "Consolation prize."

It's always fun to see a grown man sulk, and that's definitely what's happening with what's-his-face. Larry. "I don't need a consolation prize."

"You're not the one I'm consoling." She presents the stuffed toy to Piper, who accepts it quite easily. "She's the one with a boyfriend who can't control his balls."

Later, if Alex had to look back and pick the moment she was done for, it would be this one: the way this woman's whole body _lurches_ with the force of her laugh, the sound of it sputtering against tightly curled lips, snuffing out her nose.

Larry's giving her this pouty little wounded puppy look, and Piper loops a conciliatory arm through his elbow, but Alex doesn't notice, doesn't care, just wants to make this woman laugh again.

Another stack of bills gets slapped down on the bar. "Another five."

This is a familiar moment, and it's usually the time Girl rolls her eyes and tries to pull Boy away, saying it's not worth it, it's not a big deal, but Piper doesn't do that. She holds her stuffed toy, absently worrying the soft ears between her thumbs and forefingers, seeming perfectly content to stay right where she is.

"Maybe he should let you try," Alex tells her.

Piper smiles. "Do you always bully your customers?"

"Only the ones with pretty girlfriends."

The smile tilts, then opens up completely. Somewhere in her peripheral vision, Larry's giving her a startled, confused look, but even though flustering The Boyfriend is usually half the fun of this activity, Alex has forgotten he's there.

Regrettably, the fourth baseball makes direct contact with the pyramid, sending all the bottles toppling over. Larry lets out a whoop that's just a shade too relieved.

"Nice one." Piper claps dutifully.

Shooting Alex an unnecessarily smug look, as if he was playing _against_ her in the game, he points, businesslike, "Okay, we'll take the stuffed puppy."

"Larry," Piper elbows him. "She already gave us a prize."

"Yeah, but I didn't earn that one."

Piper rolls her eyes. "Does it really matter? You want me to carry around two all day?"

"So give that one back!"

"Here," Alex settles the argument by tossing a stuffed frog with bulgy eyes at Larry. "This can be yours."

"I said we wanted the dog."

Alex shrugs and makes a sad face. "You don't get to choose. Company policy."

The muscles in Piper's face twitch and she meets Alex's gaze, eyes going wide with a combination of amusement and admonishment. It's a strange, knowing expression, and for just a second it feels bizarrely like they've known each other for much longer than five minutes.

"C'mon, champ," Piper loops an arm around Larry's waist and tugs him away from the stand. "I'm dying for a funnel cake." She looks back at Alex as they walk away. "Bye. Thank you."

Alex winks at her and then watches them go, can hear Larry's muttered, "Why the hell are you _thanking_ her?"

"What. The. Ever. Living. Fuck?"

Alex whirls around, startled. She'd entirely forgotten about Nicky, who's now staring at her in open mouthed, unfettered delight, and has even sat up to ninety degrees for the occasion. "At _ease_, solider. God_damn_."

There's heat rising to her cheeks. Alex reaches for her hat and pulls it back over her head, rolling her eyes. "What?"

Nicky shakes her head, eyes gleaming with mirth. "You tell me."

"I was just fucking around. Like always."

"No, no, no. That was not like always. That was different. _She_ was different." She chuckles. "_Piper_. Jesus Christ. Sounds like an off brand Barbie. Skipper, Piper, Felicity..."

"Are you just naming girls you went to prep school with?"

"Hey." Nicky points at her sternly. "What'd I say about spreading that shit around?"

"Um, that it's a good way to make you shut the fuck up?"

"Hmmm. Blondie's boyfriend isn't the only one who's touchy." Nicky leans forward, pretending to scrutinize Alex's expression. "Fuck, Vause, are you_blushing_?"

Alex reaches up and grabs the first bit of synthetic fur she reaches, hurling a purple monkey across the booth at Nicky.

* * *

She doesn't flirt with anyone else for the rest of the day, and keeps having to level heated glares at Nicky, silently daring her to comment.

Alex keeps her eyes on the crowd, waiting. She's oddly confident that Piper will be back.

But eventually the sun sets, the lights come on, and a loudspeaker begins counting down the last hour until the park closes. They haven't seen Piper, with or without Larry, again.

Nicky seems to sense Alex's irritated disappointment as she counts the money at the end of the day. She passes Alex one of the cold beers they keep hiding in the back of the minifridge under the counter. "Cheer up, Vause. Probably for the best...I can't have you stepping out on me." A lot of employees of the park are operating under the general assumption that Nicky and Alex are together, apparently being unable to draw any other conclusions about two lesbians spending their days locked in a booth together. It's a misconception Nicky draws on quite often for amusement. "And anyway...she'll always have that stuffed giraffe to remember you by. That was supposed to be you, right? Because of your unnatural height?"

Two seconds later Nicky curses and vaults off the counter as Alex's beer makes its way down the back of her shirt.

* * *

"Hey, Vause, check this out."

Alex looks dutifully in the direction Nicky's pointing: at Daya's caricature set up. She's with a customer, a young guy in an Army T-shirt. "So?"

"So, she's been at it for like an hour. Usually Diaz churns those things out in, what? Twenty minutes, tops?"

Bored, Alex returns to the book she's surreptitiously reading below the counter. "And?"

"_And_ when was the last time you saw a guy go on his own to get a drawing of himself? Without his girlfriend forcing him?" Nicky watches them for a moment. "I think it's cute. Y'know. For heteros."

"Uh-huh."

"Ah, sorry. I should know better than to bring up new love blossoming around here. I know it's a sensitive subject."

"Fuck off," Alex replies automatically, no real conviction behind it. She's had three days of Nicky's teasing about that woman. Piper.

"Don't mind if I do, actually." Nicky hops off the counter. "Morello's on break soon. May treat her to a snow cone."

Alex makes a low, scoffing sound. "And you're all over my ass for pining over a straight girl?"

"Hey, it's called projection, Vause. Look it up. And be more fuckin' sensitive. Just for that, I'm taking an extra ten minutes" Nicky smirks over her shoulder as she walks away.

Alex turns her attention back to her book. It's the slow period, and without Nicky yelling, she's pretty confident she could have a dead half hour or so.

Nicky's been gone for only ten minutes when she hears, "Um, hi."

Alex slams her book shut and looks up, her groan at being interupted catching in her throat as she finds herself looking at Piper. Slowly, she unrolls a smile. "Hey."

Piper smiles back, an endearing blend of uncertainty and forced confidence. She's wearing a white sleeveless T-shirt, black bra peeking out from the sides, and shorts so short they should be illegal.

"Back already?"

"I, uh...wanted to play." She's already got the cash in her hand.

Alex accepts it, fingers deliberately lingering, and clucks her tongue in sympathy. "Bastard wouldn't let you, huh? Figured you'd show him up?"

Piper laughs, accepting her bucket of baseballs. "Guess we'll see." Her first throw is only a couple inches off.

"See, you've already got him beat."

The second ball is more wild, but the third hits its mark and topples the entire pyramid. Piper's eyes light up, and she turns to Alex with a triumphant smile.

"Fuck. No wonder you didn't bring your boyfriend. That would've been embarrassing for him."

"He's not my boyfriend. Not exactly."

Well, then.

Alex arches an eyebrow and mmm's at that, turning around and picking up the fallen bottles to hide her smile. She turns back around and gestures at the wall of prizes. "So. What'll it be?"

Piper smirks at her. "I thought you said no choosing."

"I lied," Alex says shamelessly, leaning on her forearms on the counter and grinning. "So, tell me how you acquired these skills." She arches an eyebrow. "Former softball player?"

"Just a little, mostly in PE. Tennis was more my thing."

Alex smiles innocently. "But you played for both teams?"

Piper ducks in her head when she laughs, another one of those face scrunching smiles Alex has been thinking about for the past three days. When she looks up again, her eyes are shining with something almost like wonder. "Who _are_ you?"

"My name's Alex."

"Alex..." Piper repeats the name like she wants to try out the sound. Somehow they've end up only a few inches apart, leaning across either side of the counter.

"Piper," she parrots back in a teasing voice.

Piper's eyes flash smugly. "Oh, you remembered?"

"Just part of the job. I'm very good at customer relations."

She fucking licks her fucking lips. Goddamn. "Yeah?"

Alex nods and then, completely forgetting where the hell she is and what's dong there (namely, being a responsible employee), she fastens her hand to Piper's jaw and kisses her.

They only come up for air when Alex becomes aware of whoops and catcalls from across the walkway. Remembering herself, she pulls back; over Piper's shoulder, in their refreshment stand, Taystee's dancing suggestively while Poussey laughs her ass off. "Get it girl!"

Alex gives them the finger, shooting Piper a reassuring grin. Piper looks slightly dazed, shocked by her own actions, but after a second she smiles back. "Was that my prize?"

Alex laughs out loud. "Uh, it can be. But I'd probably need to give you your money back so we don't feel weird about it."

Piper lifts herself up on the counter, just high enough to pluck a stuffed elephant off the side. "Here," she hands to Alex, mock serious. "I won this for you."

"Oh, man. I'm becoming one of those girls."

"Which girls are those?"

"The ones who get all a'flutter over carnival prizes that are valued at fifty cents."

"You're _a'flutter_?"

Alex grins with her tongue caught between her teeth. "Only slightly."

"Um..." Piper clears her throat, already blushing. "Think we could go for more?"

Alex leans over again, tracing her thumb along the curve of Piper's cheekbone. "I'm off at ten, if you wanna hang around."

Piper smiles giddily. "Okay."

They kiss again. There are more catcalls. Alex sends Piper off with a lanyard that'll give her free rides and promises to meet back when the announcement that the park is closing comes on.

* * *

When Piper shows back up, Nicky grins and rolls her eyes and mutters warnings about _straight girls_. Alex pretends like she's going to shove Nicky off the counter, and then more genuinely tells her to get lost.

Piper tastes like citrus and powdered sugar, and she smells like sweat and burnt out fireworks.

Alex closes the window in the front of the booth, knocks the milk bottles off the table as Piper hops onto it, winding her legs around Alex's hips.

It's an unyielding scorcher of a summer.


End file.
